 |
|
|
Creekside
Church
444 Fig Tree LAne
Martinez, CA 94553
| July 2009 |
|
|
|
No matter
how hard we try to protect our teenagers, they're bound
to face some hardships and sorrows. Unfortunately, kids
aren't immune to pain and tragedy. Some of the tough
times of adolescence are quite common (broken
relationships, not making a team, failing a test), but
they still can seem devastating for teenagers. Other
times, life really throws your kids a curve. Friends die
in a car accident. A classmate commits suicide. Your
family faces a death, divorce, natural disaster, or
other major upheaval.
Some of the best impact you
can have on kids' lives is during crisis situations.
That's when kids need a prepared, focused, engaged, and
loving ally. That's also when they're powerfully open to
God's healing touch. God is love, and he can't keep
himself from moving redemptively into traumatic
experiences that land like a bomb in kids' lives.
Through God's grace, families often discover strengths,
resilience, and courage that wouldn't have surfaced
otherwise.
As a parent, you have the opportunity
to be a safe haven during life's storms. Allow kids to
tell and retell their stories and share their feelings.
Give them space to talk about their doubts and questions
about God. Use crises to develop in your teenagers eyes
full of compassion (see Matthew 9:35-38). And offer hope
that God will turn tragedy into something beautiful,
according to his will. This issue of "The Parent Link"
offers insights and general strategies you can use. For
help with specific crises, check out Group's Emergency
Response Handbook for Parents, available from
www.Group.com.
| | |
|
Psychology
professor and author Les Parrott III offers these steps to
help you handle your next challenging
situation:
1. Accept the
crisis. We're often tempted to play down another person's
problem to ease our own anxiety. Instead of talking teenagers
out of their pain, acknowledge it.
2. Gather
information carefully. It's dangerous to jump to a hasty
conclusion before you have all the facts. There may be more to
the crisis than you're hearing.
3. Be present. Listen
and communicate a willingness to give the time required. Being
with a caring person who's fully present renews energy and
hope in a young soul.
4. Help make God's presence
known. Without spiritualizing and giving simplistic answers,
reassure kids that God will help them through tough times. The
Psalms are an especially effective bridge back to
God.
5. Determine an immediate action plan. Identify
the problem and the desired outcome. Then think about who is
best equipped to help your teenager through the crisis. Also
mobilize social support.
| |
|
Chances
are that your teenager has already experienced profound
grief.
• By the
end of high school, 20% of students will have
experienced the death of one parent, and 90% will have
lost a close relative or loved one.
• Before their
18th birthday, half of all kids will experience the
divorce of their parents. Experts say divorce negatively
impacts some kids more than a parent's death does.
•
Each year, one in every 1,500 high school students dies.
• Car crashes are the top killer of teenagers. Every
year, 5,000 U.S. teenagers die in car crashes.
•
Almost one in every two rape victims is 18 or
younger.
(pbs.org "In the Mix: Dealing With Death,"
npr.org, rainn.org)
| | |
| |
|
When
wickedness is allowed to rear its ugly head (and seemingly
triumph), God opens new doors of opportunity to turn what was
meant for evil and use it for good. During crises and
challenges, remember these three points: First, let hurting
kids process and label their emotions because they need a
healthy outlet. Second, don't hesitate to seek outside help,
being proactive so kids can cope with their shock and
distress. Third, make the most of the opportunity, using it to
draw your kids and your family closer to God. Some of the
messages to convey include:
